En Route to London, Heathrow

I’m en route to London tonight on the World’s Favorite Airline. As we cruise across the sky at 39,000 feet on this giant Boeing 777-200, I wonder how the airline industry survives at all amid relentless increases in jet fuel, tiring labor disputes and the worst decade in the history of commercial airlines following September 11, 2001.

If there’s one business that truly stinks, it’s the airline industry.

I don’t know too many investors who made money betting on airlines. Carl Icahn buried Texas Air, Julian Robertson, Jr. failed wagering on US Air and countless others have lost money over the years.

In the United States alone, every additional cent of fuel price increases adds another $190 to $200 billion dollars to airline expenses. Most airlines fail to hedge while others have been successful, including Southwest.

As I’m writing this blog, a British Airways (BA) flight attendant gives me a glass of red wine. This one is a Bordeaux and it’s a lovely vintage. In my book, I’d rather not drink wine if it isn’t good. Bad wine almost gives me a headache. If you love wine like I do, then you know what I’m talking about.

This flight attendant is rather attractive, probably of Indian descent; she’s exactly what a flight attendant should be – courteous, attentive, smiling and well, for the lack of a better word, hot.

I got a chuckle after reading Hugh Hefner’s editorial in this weekend’s Wall Street Journal (Traveler’s Tale, page D4).

The legendary founder of Playboy, who pioneered the “Mile High Club” in 1966 with his black bunny DC-9 twinjet, mused about how unattractive most flight attendant’s are today; “Stewardesses used to look like Bond Girls; now they look like your mother.”

Indeed, how true! Only recently have airlines boosted the number of younger flight attendants. This is especially true on Air Canada where grandmothers used to work flights twenty years ago.

As a bachelor, I always try to have some fun with the younger women working the flight. It takes the edge off and makes the trip go faster somehow. Tonight, British Airways has a rather young crew and they’re a lot of fun. We discuss Montreal, the sites, recent trips and the state of the airline.

BA has struggled with all sorts of labor problems over the past 24 months but remains a top-notch carrier in my book. Personally, I prefer Air Canada, Swiss and Lufthansa for my European long-haul because I’m a Star Alliance member.

Still, if you gave me an airline for free, I wouldn’t take it. Labor and fuel prices are the biggest expenses for an airline.

The IATA (International Airlines Transportation Association) Jet Fuel Price Monitor has risen 21.6% over the last 12 months.

Fuel prices, which continue to surge, have already added about $17 billion dollars to airline fuel costs in 2010, according to IATA.

Gosh, oil prices are up just 2% this year. Imagine what happens when prices really take-off again? How will airlines manage their jet fuel costs if they don’t hedge?

Though I wouldn’t run an airline, even it was given to me for nothing, I’ll take the stewardess working in World Club on this flight. She’s sweet and the odds of being successful on this courtship are much better than running a global carrier.